However, it does happen occasionally, that some person, truly determined to be weird, succeeds in exceeding my expectations of weirdness.
Mostly, this weirdness comes from their replies to my friends' and my friendly "Hello"s.
Here, I have a list of some of the weirdest replies that my friend Cat, her mom, my mom, my sisters Veela and Christina, and I have received today. (Yes. All of these happened today. Yes. We really could find that many weird replies. Be amazed.)
- "I'm sorry, I already have too many Girl Scout Cookies." I'm sorry. What? What is this mythical situation that you speak of? Too... Many... Girl... Scout... Cookies. I do not comprehend. That's like having too much French Toast. Simply... inexplicably weird. How can you have too many Girl Scout cookies? This makes no sense. Moving on...
- "Sorry. I've already bought some. I have a lot. ... I have 33 grandchildren... two are Girl Scouts... *hugs Cat*... you know how it is." Okay. SO MUCH is weird about this reply. First of all... If you don't want cookies... SAY SO AND THEN GO AWAY. I think I've already covered this here, in reason five. Secondly... If you absolutely MUST tell us why you can't buy cookies from our poor starving group... then just say "Sorry. Already bought some from my grandchildren," and then leave. Poof. End of situation. We don't need to hear about your grandchildren. We don't know them, and we don't know you, and we don't care. Thirdly... ... ... YOU DON'T GO UP TO A GIRL SCOUT ON A SITE SALE AND HUG HER! I could write an entirely different post on why this is unacceptable and weird. But for here, I will simply say... That's stalkerish, that's weird, that's... we aren't standing around with a sign that says "FREE HUGS", for pete's sake!
- "I'm going over here." ....uuuuuuuhhhh... ...... ... maybe if we rewind this scene, it'll make a little more sense. We say, "Hello! *smiles*" You say, "*glares* I'm going over here." .... huh. Does that reply have anything to do with the salutation? ...Does that reply even have anything to do with ANYTHING?!
- "Nrwaaaahhhh!" .... .... .... .... I almost have nothing to say to this, except... "Are you kidding?" and "Are you a dinosaur?"