Sunday, July 5, 2015

Open Letter to my Dear Coworkers

Dear coworkers,

I appreciate your dedication to not doing your job. You are truly talented, creative people. In particular, I admire the morning crew (a whopping five or six people!) for managing to do absolutely nothing in the way of cleaning for a whole eight hours! Even when Iris is there, or when you're working in the evening with myself, I admire the way that you avoid doing any sort of cleaning at all; whether it means sitting and 'doing homework,' or hiding in the back, or just filling up the front of the ice shuttle so it's still empty, you have created an art out of laziness.

Also, I would like to thank you for the way that you don't collapse boxes before throwing them in the garbage. By refusing to take the five minutes to collapse them, you manage to fill the dumpster within seconds, leaving an enormous pile of garbage which won't fit in the dumpster unless I climb in and remove everything you've done so far. On a related note, I appreciate how dedicated you are to not throwing away your own garbage... Saturday and Sunday morning crews, I'm looking DIRECTLY at you. Thank you for pulling all of my garbage cans in the back into the center of the room and piling them high with garbage... and then leaving. It means I have a full 20 minutes of work to do before I can even begin to start the baking (or cleaning the dishes you leave in the sink!)

In addition, I would also like to say that I admire your skill in avoiding work completely. As in not coming in. I'm not stupid; I know you aren't sick when you call in. I also know that when you call and ask me every week to take the same shift because you don't feel good, it's because you have a thing with your friends and you just can't be bothered to work. I also admire your courage in simply not showing up to work, especially when you do so repeatedly. That's something that I would never have the guts (or motivation) to do. You take slacking to a whole new level of lazy.

Thank you for all you (don't) do to help.

- Angela

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

College of Lake County

As many of you wonderful readers know, I've been studying at CLC, or the College of Lake County, for almost three years now. I've taken many classes, although I've only been considered 'full time' for one semester. I've made friends, I met my boyfriend, and I've learned so much.

This is why it makes me sad when people criticize CLC for being the 'college of last chance,' or when they say that only failures go there because it's easier than a four year school.

Let me tell you something.
It is not. Easier. Than. A. Four. Year. Institution.
I have professors, such as my English professor, who taught at four year institutions and quit to work at CLC because they found the students to be more driven and focused. I have other professors who are teaching part time after having something like 50 years experience in their fields. Our nursing program is excellent; we have one of the highest rates of people passing their nursing exams and becoming certified. Our fire safety department is extraordinary, there's a two year dental hygienist program, and many people simply go for two years to save something like $35,000 per year on prerequisite classes.

There is nothing easy about our academics.

Also, none of our classes are taught by TA's. All are taught by a professor or instructor who has experience in their field. I've only had two or three professors in three years who have not learned my name, my major, and my learning style. The largest class I've taken was, I believe, either Intro to Humanities or English Comp I. Although I despised my Humanities professor, even he managed to learn my name and still greets me in the hallways, and my English professor has me as one of her research assistants and has been invited to my graduation.

There is nothing sub-par about our professors.

The students are driven. Sure, we have some slackers, but if you look at our chapter of Phi Theta Kappa (of which I am a member), you'd probably be astonished at the amount of students who have created and maintained a 3.5 GPA or higher. We have around 50 clubs and organizations, all of which have regular gatherings, and most of which perform service projects. We have organized study times and groups, There are tutors everywhere, and as someone who only passed physics thanks to the tutoring section, I can tell you that they are excellent AND popular. The writing tutors are usually busy, there's always a librarian around if you need help with something, and if you visit our computer labs you'll probably find all of the computers full with people writing papers or completing research.

CLC isn't for people who just can't make it into a four year institution.

If you visit the atrium of CLC, and if you sit and listen to some of the conversations, you'll realize that most of the students are discussing politics, religion, sexuality, foreign affairs. They discuss their classes, the curriculum, the college-run events, philosophy, and social injustices for fun. They care about each other; if you stop and ask someone where to find a room, they'll always try to point you in the right direction and half of the time someone will volunteer to walk with you and help you find where you're trying to get.

Look. Stop criticizing CLC for simply being a community college. Yes, it's small. It's cheap. We're not the flashiest school. Our walls are mostly cinderblock.
But here's the thing:
Everybody who is at CLC genuinely wants to be there. They want to learn, and they aren't going to let things like cost or distance stand in their way. They aren't there because their mom and dad made them apply, or there to party and waste money. We're there because we care about what we're doing and what we're learning.
We're there to better our lives.

Monday, November 3, 2014

The Worst Negative Reviews

Hey there folks.
As you all know, I work at Dunkin Donuts as barista/cashier/maid/cook/etc.
Sadly, we have, at the bottom of our receipts, something called a survey code.
Which means that customers, who are usually poorly informed, can provide their poorly informed opinions on the operations of our restaurant.
This is so that they can get a free donut.
I digress.

Today, while I was slaving away for minimum wage, I saw that my bosses had printed out our most recent survey comments. I flipped through the five or so pages of them, most of them either vague or positive, and a certain number of them stood out to me.
Most of the noticeable ones were negative.
My personal theory is that 99% of negative reviews come from customers who are very, extremely, exceptionally, unintelligent.
I'll let you make up your mind after I list several of the reviews that stood out to me, along with my personal interpretation of said reviews.

"You need to have an English speaking taking orders at the drive through! I could to understand your employee and she she didn't understand me because my order was wrong!!!"
This is an actual and direct quote, including the double "she" in it.

I mean.
I still can't wrap my brain around this complaint.
Did the person understand how dumb they sounded when they typed this?
I mean, even if you accept that they may have had a typo (which would explain the "she she" and even the "could to" part), are you kidding when you say "an English speaking" as a noun?
I can't.
My interpretation of this?
"I'm racist and I don't like Hispanic people. Also I order in a manner that's so confusing that someone who makes their living by taking orders can't understand what I want."

There was not only a line at the drive thru to order, but also a line to receive your order! Even when you go inside there is a wait, even if there isn't a line.

We're a fast food restaurant.
Being busy is the only way we're still in business.
We're not even that busy most of the time.
And also we make your food as you order it so I apologize if your sandwich isn't immediate, but I think you probably want fresh food.
Also please stop complaining to us about having a line. It literally isn't our fault that other people also decided to get their coffee this morning.
My interpretation:
"I am an impatient person who probably didn't like standing in line in elementary school and also probably my parents gave me whatever I wanted when I was a little kid."

Make the coupon expiration dates longer.


"I'm a decent person but I don't actually understand how franchises work."

Take the customers order, take coupons at point of payment, and don't tell the customer they are the reason for any mistakes.

Maybe if you actually ordered properly and gave us your coupons when you pay, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. However, it isn't our job to ask you if you have a coupon. We aren't actually mind readers. Also, I'm glad you know how to do my job better than I do. It's clearly always my fault when something goes wrong; it's never the customer's fault.
Admittedly, no. We shouldn't actually patronize our customers and tell them they're the problem.
(Truth be told though, they usually are the problem.)
So try this, customer: How about you actually show some consideration for the fact that this employee has to talk to a hundred other people just like you and take orders that start sounding the same, and actually treat them like a person? How about you don't freak out if we make a mistake, because it's just as likely as you made a mistake with ordering?

"I've never had a minimum wage job, I think I know better than you, also I'm way more important than anyone else in this entire building. Your job is clearly to be my servant."

To be honest, there were a couple more, but I can't remember them off the top of my head. I'll get some more of them later though, so never fear!

Saturday, August 23, 2014

How to Order Food Like a Jerkwad

It has come to my attention that all the "cool kids" are, in fact, total dicks to minimum wage employees. This includes yours truly.
So, in order to promote general coolness in all customers, I have devised a handy guide for all of you who want to order like total buttholes.
Here goes.

Order Something While Talking on the Phone
You heard correctly. Maybe. With 99.999% of your attention on the fascinating conversation you're having, the minimum wage worker will have to repeat what she said a dozen times before you actually comprehend the words.
And that's a baker's dozen.

Take Forever While Ordering but don't let the Employee Help the Next Person who Already Knows What They Want and are Prepared to Tip
This step takes a certain skill. First of all, you need to take four or five minutes just to look at the menu, while still saying "I'll have.... uh... I'll do a......" while edging around the counter so that we can't get to the customer who has exact change in their hand (along with a tip) and who is getting increasingly irritated.
(Make sure you're still on your phone, too.)

Order Something that isn't Even on the Menu
So after you've taken five minutes of the employee's time (that's a while $0.68 worth of time in Illinois, btw) that they could actually be using to do things like take the drive thru orders, or clean the counter, or brew more coffee, or make the donuts, or sweep the floor, or start thawing more brownies or stocking cups or any number of things that they need to do...
After you've used up this time, now you have to order something that isn't even on the menu. This includes things like "original coolattas" and "chicken egg and cheese on a pepperjack bagel" and "coffee with a scoop of ice cream in it."
This means that the employee has to figure out exactly what you want, as well as trying to figure out how to ring it up. This is going to be trickier since you're still on the phone, right?

Get mad at the Price
Now that you have your insanely complicated and irritating order rung up, you need to get mad because they employee charged you for that ice cream AND the coffee instead of just giving it to you for free. Also get mad because it happens to be $5 for a milkshake.
Because it's totally that individual employee's decision how much something costs.
They're totally doing it just to spite you.

Pay with a $100 Bill
And then get mad when you get your change in $5 bills because we don't actually carry a ton of $20s.

Be impatient while waiting for your food.
This includes interrupting the insanely busy employees with questions like "CAN I HAVE A GLASS OF WATER" and "EXCUSE ME WHEN IS MY FOOD COMING" and "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS"

Yeah neither do we


This includes stomping on your ice cream cones, throwing dirty napkins everywhere, shaving in the public restrooms, leaving your coffee cups on the shelves, and overall just being a total ass about it.

Good job.
You have now ordered like a jerkwad.