Sunday, November 3, 2013

Latte Adventures: Hot or Iced?

Since I've been working at the local Dunkin Donuts, one of the most common orders is a latte.
Especially from 3-6 pm.
It may help that we have a 99c latte at that time.
I dunno.

But anyway, we have these lattes. The thing is, though, is that whenever we have a customer, the order usually goes as thus.

Me: Hi, how can I help you?
Customer: I'd like a medium latte, mocha, with skim milk.
Me: Hot or iced?
Customer: Uhhhhhhhhhh
customer: Which one's better?

I work at the stupid shop, like I'm allowed to say anything other than "they're both excellent?" So why are you even asking? And why didn't you think of this before you ordered?

Eventually they'll make up their mind. Usually the hot latte people have no issue, but then there's the iced latte people.
Let me tell you; iced latte people are either really nice or REALLY picky and have no idea what they're even doing.
Like seriously some of these people I don't think should be allowed to go through the drive through.
Actually, scratch that.
I don't think some of these people should be allowed to order a latte.
Or a coffee.
Or anything.

They'll order something ridiculous like "white chocolate mocha heavy on the mocha" and we'll make it. A cup of ice, add the espresso, add the syrups, add the milk, add whipped cream, and then any of the toppings (mocha or caramel syrups on top) and then give it to them.
Wanna know what half of them say?

"Isn't that too small?"
Uh no, you did order a small.
"Why is there whipped cream?"
"But this isn't what I wanted... Isn't a latte just iced coffee?"
You're kidding me.
Just iced coffee?
A latte has espresso and milk.
An iced coffee is, let's see, COFFEE WITH ICE.
Goodness me.
"This has the caramel/mocha/pumpkin/white chocolate/vanilla/whatever, right?"
No I just thought we'd mess up your order on purpose
If we're unsure, we'll ask you at the window what flavor.

I don't even know what half of these people think they're getting. Let me show you the picture that we put on all the menus.

See that?
They. Have. Whipped. Cream.
They. Have. Syrups.
They. Are. NOT. COFFEES.

I just.
I don't even.

And then today, we had this lady go through the drive through. Our conversation, to my recollection, went as thus:

Me: Hi, how can I help you?
Woman: I'd like four of the ninety nine cent lattes.
(author's note: We only do two per customer.)
Me: Uhhhh okay
Woman: Caramel. Four. Hot.
(only, when she said "hot" it definitely sounded like she said "iced" so.)
Me: ...Okay.
(Meanwhile, my coworker is starting the FOUR lattes.)
Woman: *pulls up to window*
Me: Um, by the way, the coupon only works for two per customer.
Woman: Well my friend's in the car. So there's two of us. *glares at me*
Okay okay fine lady
Me: Okay....
*money transactions*
Me: Could you please pull forward to the next window?

She did that, and we finished up the four caramel lattes.
So then I brought it up to the window.

So we had to go back and remake everything which took way too long because to make a hot latte you need to steam the milk

Finally I gave her her stupid lattes and had to pretend I was feeling all sorry I'd messed it all up when in reality I was just glad she was finally leaving.

The only upside to this story is that my coworkers and I then drank the mistake lattes.

Here's my friendly advice to you people:


So we're making the iced lattes, right? And then

Friday, May 10, 2013

Science AND Religion?!

There's a huge misconception that if you believe in God you also cannot believe in evolution. Or that if you believe that a higher being created the world that you can't also believe that the world started with the Big Bang.

Uh huh.

I'm one of the people we call "Christian Evolutionists."
(Or, as my mom adds: "Catholic. Or Lutheran. Or sane.)
That is?
I believe in God. I think He created the world and made us in His image.
But I also believe that humans evolved from microorganisms from which all life descended.
Wait, what?
Angela, you've gone crazy.
You're bonkers.

Not really.

If you really think about both theories, they go more hand in hand than a lot of people would believe. The idea that God created the universe does not block out the theory of evolution and the Big Bang. The creation story? Most of us do not interpret it literally anyway.
The main point of the story is this:
God created us. We screwed up. We have sin.

This does not have to happen with women being magically born from a guy's rib. I mean, I could be totally wrong, but I somehow don't see it as being likely that we were formed from one single rib. First of all, science already states that men actually originate as women: Without a certain chromosome, they would be formed as females.
(This is why men have nipples. JSYK.)

So I don't see that as literal, no.
Which leaves it totally open as to how God created the universe. He made it out of nothing, yeah, but there's nothing to say that he didn't do that by starting the Big Bang.
Actually, if you think about it, his "days" could be huge sections of time for us, in which case the thing where we were created near the end would totally make sense seeing how we had to evolve to be humans anyway.

But back to what I originally wanted to say.
The more that I learn about science? The more "heathen evolution" I consume and the more I read about the Big Bang?
The more I truly do believe that God did create us. Because there is no way that everything came from nothing, otherwise.

The moral of this post:
Religion does not cross out science, or vice versa.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

In Which Angela Discusses Gender Roles

There comes a time when I simply have to bash my head against a wall due to the stubbornness of others and their complete disregard for how reality works.
Gender roles tend to cause these times more often than pretty much anything else.

Gender roles are honestly one of the worst inventions in the world. Do they work?
No, not really.
Are they "traditional" as we refer to them?
Do they make ANYONE happy except for self-inflated, egocentric, controlling men and women?
I don't think so.

Notice, too, that I said "men AND women." That was not a mistake. That was not my attempt not to be sexist against men.
Males have some pretty awful stereotypical gender roles as well. They are just as unfair as those against women, and they have just as much based off of reality as the images of a woman being fragile as a flower and incapable of taking care of herself do.

Gender roles don't discriminate. They hate everything.

Let's take a look at the past, shall we?
Men and women traditionally worked together to gather food. They raised children- sometimes other people's children- and women made important decisions as often as men did. They worked together to protect each other.
We were so focused on the fact that we need to survive that we weren't like "OMG WOMEN COOK AND MEN FIGHT."
We both cooked.
We both ate.
It worked out pretty well.

Once the agricultural revolution came around, along with the domestication of animals? Yeah, men started taking care of the animals while women grew food.
But equal.

And then it sort of spiraled down from there.

We started marking "hunting" and "fighting" as "the strong things" and "the things you do when you can take care of yourself."
Nevermind the fact that I'm sure there were guys who couldn't fight worth crap (notice: Guys DIED in war. If they were all mega strong manly men then either they'd all of died or none of them would have.), along with women who probably beat up animals and creatures and enemies because the guys were all off killing each other and hey, who's going to let a wildcat eat their toddler?
Pretty much NO ONE.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that either job was stupid or unnecessary. Frankly, I'm glad that my ancient ancestors lived because I'm here now.
Fighting was important.
Agriculture was important.
Raising children was important.
Raising animals was important.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say they're pretty much equal- at least in that time and place.
So we have these two equal things.
And then ALL the glory gets thrown on one of them- the fighting and raising animals- and then we have a problem.
Because who raises animals and fights?
But not all men enjoy this, I'm sure. I'm sure some of them have allergies to cow hair or something and feel nauseous at the sight of blood.

So I'm going to break from this topic before I go insane trying to explain what I'm thinking.

So let's move onto modern day.
Women have "equality" and men are happy. Right? All is happy. We all get along. No one prejudices against-


I know, I know.
It's a pretty picture.
But hold it.

Did you know that there are people who consider women to be "emotional" and "weak" and they need a guy to support them at all times?
Even today.

Sadly enough, in our society, that's not unheard of. It's pretty normal, actually. Women are always being told what to be and what to look like, and it's bullcrap.
We're told that we should be happy for what we have and we should just suck it up and deal because WE HAVE EQUALITY ALREADY, RIGHT?

I'm going to continue this thought in a moment.
Let's look at the other side of things.

In the same way that women are stuck inside of stereotypical gender roles?
So are guys.

Remember back when fighting and hunting was the honorable thing, raising men to be higher than women?
Well, that defined the whole of men. Ever. They were ALL like that. Because that's how they were expected to be, that's how a lot of people still define them as.

"Well look at it like this, not to say that there aren't any exceptions, but on the General, people aren't going to band together under a girl, especially guys, and follow her into battle. There are exceptions but men like to be led by men. I know I'm using Sam's analogy here but in the same instance, most girls cannot achieve the same physical level that men can."

"I think my main problem with people who write stories with girls as the leader is that they fail to change the reality of the situation to a girl being in charge."

"When God created the earth, he didn't create the women to be the leader, to make the tough calls and carry the burden, even for things outside of war, he created the man to do that and the woman to be the supporter."

"Guys never cry on one another's shoulder's or give each other supportive hugs. With guys, it's all about respect."

"Masculine Tactics:

1. Physical Strength
This is perhaps the most obvious. I could prove it with a science book.

2. Leadership
Men make better leaders than women. That's just the way it is. Even if it was socially acceptable, Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Robert E. Lee, Hitler, Alexander the Great etc. would not have been as successful if they were women. And don't tell me about Joan of Arc or Debra. The only reason that anyone knows about them is because they are NOT the norm.

3. Mortal Intimidation
This can be broken up even further.
1. Indirect intimidation
"I have the power to make someone kill you." (women can also do this)
2. Direct intimidation
"I can personally kill you with my bare hands!" (When a women says this to a man, it is rare that he takes her seriously)
3. Grand Scale intimidation
"I can crush you" Meaning my forces will destroy yours.
(This sort of intimidation is frequently attributed to a general or a king. Because women do not make as good leaders/commanders, they cannot be intimidating due of the strength of the forces. If you hear about a queen's army, you automatically assume that the queen is not in direct military command. Men like Napoleon have grand scale intimidation.)"

This is what I thought of when I read the last quote...

Yes. These are actual quotes.
From actual people.
And I truly am sorry that they have these unrealistic views.
Because really? How is this realistic? At all?

Guys are not unemotional psychopaths. Women don't need to be the "supporters" because without them guys won't be able to feel emotions.
They aren't uncaring or incapable of taking care of their children.
They aren't all scary people who look like this:
Thank God.
In fact, they're pretty much... I don't know...

And the sad part is?
The people who stereotype guys (and girls) and create gender roles, basically?
They're guys.
They're the super conservative, "MEN FIGHT AND GIRLS COOK" guys.

They make up a very small percentage of the world. Everyone thinks they're nuts. And yet we have these stereotypes and gender roles because some people fit them (which is perfectly okay) and think everyone should (which isn't okay.)
Let's think about something.
I'm a girl.
I fit the stereotype of loving cute animals.
Does this mean everyone has to?
Heck no.
They don't have to think hedgehogs are cute. That's fine.

But let's imagine I think they should.
Let's imagine I'm going around saying

Actually, let's go a step farther.
Let's say that it's a cultural thing. That all girls need to think that animals are adorable.
What if there's someone who thinks that bunnies are scary? Or who are allergic to cats?

How does this even make sense? You're probably all sitting here going "well that's stupid." because it is. It is stupid.

Now, to break away from my "WE ARE ALL EQUAL" rant, let's look at something else.

We aren't necessarily the exact same.
In fact, yes. Guys are physically stronger. They have better upper body strength, as the mean average. They tend to show emotions in different ways. They aren't necessarily as willing to talk about their emotions as other people.

When it comes to wrestling matches? Chances are the guy is going to win. This is simply because of their physical advantage.
Does this mean that women are weak fragile, can't-be-as-strong-as-guys?

Remember, I said the mean average.
(For those of you who aren't up on your math: The mean average is what happens when you add up all the numbers and then divide them by the frequency. In this case, the strength of every guy divided among the number of males.)
I mean.
Let's see. Let's take my friend Katie and my friend Matthew.
Katie could beat him up with no problem.

Girl is stronger than boy in this case.

Let's take another example.
My mom and my dad.
Uh huh.
My dad is way stronger than my mom is.

Boy is stronger than girl in this case.

There isn't anything wrong with that.
Because you know what?

We have higher pain tolerance. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, literally. We have a better ego. It's more resilient.

Sometimes I get the vibe from guys that they're thinking
"Whatever you can do, I can do better, and we're only letting you have a job or a gender role at all because we feel pity for you."

But really? When it comes down to it? There is no way that guys can do everything we can. Just biologically. Even if they could have children, it's a fact of life that all babies originally start out as female and only become male once hormones start activating.

Guys come from women.
(Take that, creation story.)

For everything that we are "lesser" in, you can find something we're "better" at.
When it comes down to it?
But equal.

And I conclude my rant about gender roles.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

You Have Leveled Up!

This is an image I personally love. As a D&D player, I love the idea that new monsters and new challenges just mean that you've gotten enough XP to level up.
Sometimes, however, these challenges come in unfortunate or unpleasant forms.

Such as being so congested you can't breathe.

The other day I was in charge of watching Philip, and he ended up falling asleep on my lap. Unfortunately, I believe he was also sick that day because guess who woke up the next morning with a stuffy nose and a sore throat?
That's right!
I did!

And currently my nose is still having issues so I can't exactly breathe quite right yet. It's irritating, but I have that picture up there reminding me that I just leveled up.
Besides that, I have the imaginary voices of my body talking to me.
Their conversations go something like this.

Me: No! I need air!
Throat: Ow ow ow ow ow. I'm in pain. PAIN, I TELL YOU. PAIN.
Nose: You wimp. OXYGEN. Who needs oxygen?
Me: I DO.
Nose: Never! Have a little originality! You don't need to breathe. BREATHING IS UNECESSARY.
Throat: No, seriously, I really hurt.
Me: Shutttt up.
Voice: Uh, sorry, but I'm starting to give out a little. I think I'm a bit under the weather.
Throat: I will kill you. D:<
Me: x.x I'm going to go take a nap now.

So I'm still working on getting better. But while all of this is going on, I have several super heroes coming to help me.
Such as tea.

Me: Hah. Take that, nose.
Nose: Noooooooo! Airflow! D:
Me: Yay!
Tea: :( You just ran out of tea.
Me: X.X

...and that's how it's been going for me for the past few days. What about you guys?

Friday, January 25, 2013

Selling Cookies to Hippies

It's no secret that some of the most interesting adventures I have occur while I'm selling Girl Scout cookies door to door.
One of said adventures occurred the other day when my friend Nina and I went to sell cookies in her neighborhood.
It started out normal enough: Nina and I wandering down the street singing the Doctor Who theme song and talking about how excited she was to sell cookies.*

*Nina isn't actually a Girl Scout, but since very few Scouts live in her neighborhood I convinced her to go around and bother people with me. She was actually really thrilld to sell them, which I personally find bizarre, but it was good too! :D (love you, Nina.)

The first few houses we went to had a more or less normal reaction
("No thanks", "I already have some", "Sure", "My granddaughter sells them"), but then we came to a small grey house.

Now, let me tell you that there is nothing about this house to suggest that it may be out of the ordinary, or that it may be inhabited by anyone other than the people who generally seem to live in this neighborhood:
Normal families or older folks.


Nina and I walked up to the door, undoubtedly singing I Am The Doctor and laughing about all the random responses we had gotten so far.
We rang the doorbell, and out came...
A man with a beard, a yellow shirt, green pants, and red suspenders hanging from his sides.
I'm not kidding.

We were trying to be polite, so out came ther regular greeting from Girl Scouts:
"Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?!"

Now, just as a side note, most people either say "yes" or "no". They don't usually dilly-dally between yes and no, and they're usually very enthusiastic about either answer.
(Yes, we know you're saying "sorry, but I already bought some", but we all know what you really mean is "WOOT I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GET RID OF THESE RANDOM STRANGE GIRLS RINGING MY DOORBELL AND BOTHERING ME FOR MONEY".)

This was the second sign that maybe this wasn't the normal sale.
Instead of a "yes" or "no". we got...

"Yeah, probably. Uh. Come on in."

Again as a side note, it isn't smart to go into a stranger's house. But he had grabbed my order sheet, and I felt duty bound to protect it.
So we went in.
And were immediately hit by the smell of either (or both) incense and marijuana.
It was a very strong smell.
Overpowering, you might say.

So while we stood there trying to breathe, the oddly dressed guy turned to the rest of the room and asked,
"Do we want to buy Girl Scout cookies?"
The four or so people sitting in a circle on couches eating scones had a mix of reactions that ranged from "Yes!" to "Absolutely!".
That is, they all answered in the affirmative.

Please note that he still was holding my order form.

So while Nina and I stood there trying to breathe and not really believing what was going on, he motioned us farther into the house, saying that there was a table to write on.
So we followed him.
Into the house.
Of hippies.
That may have been filled with pot.
It was interesting.

So we ended up in the kitchen of this house. The dining area was filled with another circle of brightly colored couches, and the table in the kitchen contained a guitar, at least three books with men with beards on the front, and a bunch of boxes of obscure looking tea.
There were also a bunch of brightly colored banners hanging from the stairs, and the entire house was painted yellow.

While we stood there, and the hippie looked at the order form, he asked what is probably the most baffling question I've gotten all cookie season this year,
"Do you have that new cookie? Like a fruity mango one?"
I don't understand.
Fruity... mango... cookie?
Because this doesn't actually exist (and never has), I told him that no, we didn't have a fruity mango cookie.
"That's okay. I didn't really want it anyway."
O-kay then. And you were just asing for... fun then?
Nina and I were by this time trying not to look at each other because it may have ended with both of us cracking up, or one or both of us bolting for the front door.

The hippie asked how much it was per box, and I told him that it was four dollars. He then looked at me and said he better buy twenyt dollars worth. Because he didn't seem to be able to do math at that moment, I told him that that would be five boxes.
"I better do two and three then!" he looked awestruck by his brilliance.
Yes, three and two would make five, I suppose.

So he ordered his cookies, and got out the money to pay us. Just at the moment where Nina and i were like "WE MIGHT ESCAPE FROM HERE ALIVE", one of the hippies (a very short, barefoot woman) wandered into the kitchen.
She also seemed a lot brighter than the first hippie.
"So do you live around here?"

Author's note: I've already covered how much I hate that question. I hate answering it. It's creepy and stalkerish, and what if I DON'T live around there? What? Are you not going to order cookies? Well, will ya?
This time the question was even creepier because we were standing in a buttercup yellow kitchen surrounded by tea and hippie books and.. well... hippies.

Thankfully Nina doesn't mind telling a few white lies, so she answered that yes, we did live around there and yes we were part of the same troop, and I added that we were both seniors and that yes we were still Scouting and it really was quite wonderful and that I hoped they had a good day.

Another Author's note: It was disturbing too because the second hippie actually reminded me a lot of my teen group leader who I do love very much, but who also sort of frightens me. So the entire time I was standing there going "No, it isn't your teen group leader." Which made the stalkerish question even more scary.

This is when the hippies let us leave their house.
And yes, as soon as we were outside, Nina looked at each other and I started laughing and she gave me a look and said
"That was seriously pretty scary in there. I would not have gone in there alone."
And then we walked away as fast as we could, laughing the entire time, partially because it was so surreal and partially because we had just survived a close encounter with hippies.

So yeah. That was the most interesting thing to happen to me this time.
Also, I think I'll kidnap Nina and make her go to a site sale with me.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Girl Scout Cookies: What They Mean to You

It's that time of the year again, where we put on two sweaters, a coat, gloves, scarves, two hats, socks, boots, and venture out into the realm of grumpy non-sugar eating grandparents-with-Girl-Scout-granddaughters strangers to sell them cookies.

Now, let's face it. Everyone loves Girl Scout cookies. There's always a type that you're going to love, even if you're a weirdo and don't like Thin Mints.
...You think I'm joking, but a few of my closest friends can't stand 'em.

We also all know the mission behind the Campain of Ruthlessly Harassing People to Buy Cookies. That is, we're trying to fundraise to go do a special trip, to go somewhere, or just to fund our troop for another year so we can go ask people to buy stuff from us next year.
It's a vicious cycle.

But what the actual person doesn't know is what Girl Scout cookies mean to them. Yes, we all know that you're "supporting your local Girl Scout troop!" when you buy a box of Savannah Smiles, but do you really know where your money is going?

Let me break it down for you.
The majority of the money goes to the Girl Scouts to take care of our camps, to pay the bakers, and to otherwise run the organization.
The meager .80 cents we get?
It goes to fund our vacation.


So while you're enjoying your delicious boxes of Tagalongs at your kitchen, you're also allowing my troop to go out and enjoy our Tagalongs (yes we buy them from ourselves, silly) while sitting on a beach in Georgia.

Wait, what?

Oh, yes. Did "fund our trips" sound more noble than "throw money at me so I can go on a vacation this year"?
Why do you think we're not as brutally honest as we could be?

I'll tell you why.
"Would you please buy some Girl Scout cookies" translates to "BUY THE FREAKING COOKIES MY FEET ARE GOING TO FALL OFF FROM THE COLD."
"Thank you for supporting my troop" translates to "WOOT. I'M ALMOST A DOLLAR CLOSER TO MY $850 GOAL TO GO TO GEORGIA!!!!!"
"Thank you anyway" translates to "You miserable jerk."
"Good morning!" translates to "I'm about to harass you to buy some stuff at me"
"I'm selling cookies!" translates to "Throw money at my face! Fund my vacation, lowly minions and strangers! I'll bribe you with cookies!"

But seriously, that's what's going on here.
We're using the art of manipulation to force strangers to pay for our vacations.

But hey.
It works.