Friday, January 25, 2013

Selling Cookies to Hippies

It's no secret that some of the most interesting adventures I have occur while I'm selling Girl Scout cookies door to door.
One of said adventures occurred the other day when my friend Nina and I went to sell cookies in her neighborhood.
It started out normal enough: Nina and I wandering down the street singing the Doctor Who theme song and talking about how excited she was to sell cookies.*

*Nina isn't actually a Girl Scout, but since very few Scouts live in her neighborhood I convinced her to go around and bother people with me. She was actually really thrilld to sell them, which I personally find bizarre, but it was good too! :D (love you, Nina.)

The first few houses we went to had a more or less normal reaction
("No thanks", "I already have some", "Sure", "My granddaughter sells them"), but then we came to a small grey house.

Now, let me tell you that there is nothing about this house to suggest that it may be out of the ordinary, or that it may be inhabited by anyone other than the people who generally seem to live in this neighborhood:
Normal families or older folks.


Nina and I walked up to the door, undoubtedly singing I Am The Doctor and laughing about all the random responses we had gotten so far.
We rang the doorbell, and out came...
A man with a beard, a yellow shirt, green pants, and red suspenders hanging from his sides.
I'm not kidding.

We were trying to be polite, so out came ther regular greeting from Girl Scouts:
"Hi! Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?!"

Now, just as a side note, most people either say "yes" or "no". They don't usually dilly-dally between yes and no, and they're usually very enthusiastic about either answer.
(Yes, we know you're saying "sorry, but I already bought some", but we all know what you really mean is "WOOT I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GET RID OF THESE RANDOM STRANGE GIRLS RINGING MY DOORBELL AND BOTHERING ME FOR MONEY".)

This was the second sign that maybe this wasn't the normal sale.
Instead of a "yes" or "no". we got...

"Yeah, probably. Uh. Come on in."

Again as a side note, it isn't smart to go into a stranger's house. But he had grabbed my order sheet, and I felt duty bound to protect it.
So we went in.
And were immediately hit by the smell of either (or both) incense and marijuana.
It was a very strong smell.
Overpowering, you might say.

So while we stood there trying to breathe, the oddly dressed guy turned to the rest of the room and asked,
"Do we want to buy Girl Scout cookies?"
The four or so people sitting in a circle on couches eating scones had a mix of reactions that ranged from "Yes!" to "Absolutely!".
That is, they all answered in the affirmative.

Please note that he still was holding my order form.

So while Nina and I stood there trying to breathe and not really believing what was going on, he motioned us farther into the house, saying that there was a table to write on.
So we followed him.
Into the house.
Of hippies.
That may have been filled with pot.
It was interesting.

So we ended up in the kitchen of this house. The dining area was filled with another circle of brightly colored couches, and the table in the kitchen contained a guitar, at least three books with men with beards on the front, and a bunch of boxes of obscure looking tea.
There were also a bunch of brightly colored banners hanging from the stairs, and the entire house was painted yellow.

While we stood there, and the hippie looked at the order form, he asked what is probably the most baffling question I've gotten all cookie season this year,
"Do you have that new cookie? Like a fruity mango one?"
I don't understand.
Fruity... mango... cookie?
Because this doesn't actually exist (and never has), I told him that no, we didn't have a fruity mango cookie.
"That's okay. I didn't really want it anyway."
O-kay then. And you were just asing for... fun then?
Nina and I were by this time trying not to look at each other because it may have ended with both of us cracking up, or one or both of us bolting for the front door.

The hippie asked how much it was per box, and I told him that it was four dollars. He then looked at me and said he better buy twenyt dollars worth. Because he didn't seem to be able to do math at that moment, I told him that that would be five boxes.
"I better do two and three then!" he looked awestruck by his brilliance.
Yes, three and two would make five, I suppose.

So he ordered his cookies, and got out the money to pay us. Just at the moment where Nina and i were like "WE MIGHT ESCAPE FROM HERE ALIVE", one of the hippies (a very short, barefoot woman) wandered into the kitchen.
She also seemed a lot brighter than the first hippie.
"So do you live around here?"

Author's note: I've already covered how much I hate that question. I hate answering it. It's creepy and stalkerish, and what if I DON'T live around there? What? Are you not going to order cookies? Well, will ya?
This time the question was even creepier because we were standing in a buttercup yellow kitchen surrounded by tea and hippie books and.. well... hippies.

Thankfully Nina doesn't mind telling a few white lies, so she answered that yes, we did live around there and yes we were part of the same troop, and I added that we were both seniors and that yes we were still Scouting and it really was quite wonderful and that I hoped they had a good day.

Another Author's note: It was disturbing too because the second hippie actually reminded me a lot of my teen group leader who I do love very much, but who also sort of frightens me. So the entire time I was standing there going "No, it isn't your teen group leader." Which made the stalkerish question even more scary.

This is when the hippies let us leave their house.
And yes, as soon as we were outside, Nina looked at each other and I started laughing and she gave me a look and said
"That was seriously pretty scary in there. I would not have gone in there alone."
And then we walked away as fast as we could, laughing the entire time, partially because it was so surreal and partially because we had just survived a close encounter with hippies.

So yeah. That was the most interesting thing to happen to me this time.
Also, I think I'll kidnap Nina and make her go to a site sale with me.

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