Monday, November 3, 2014

The Worst Negative Reviews

Hey there folks.
As you all know, I work at Dunkin Donuts as barista/cashier/maid/cook/etc.
Sadly, we have, at the bottom of our receipts, something called a survey code.
Which means that customers, who are usually poorly informed, can provide their poorly informed opinions on the operations of our restaurant.
This is so that they can get a free donut.
I digress.

Today, while I was slaving away for minimum wage, I saw that my bosses had printed out our most recent survey comments. I flipped through the five or so pages of them, most of them either vague or positive, and a certain number of them stood out to me.
Most of the noticeable ones were negative.
My personal theory is that 99% of negative reviews come from customers who are very, extremely, exceptionally, unintelligent.
I'll let you make up your mind after I list several of the reviews that stood out to me, along with my personal interpretation of said reviews.


"You need to have an English speaking taking orders at the drive through! I could to understand your employee and she she didn't understand me because my order was wrong!!!"
This is an actual and direct quote, including the double "she" in it.

Really?
I mean.
Really?
I still can't wrap my brain around this complaint.
Did the person understand how dumb they sounded when they typed this?
I mean, even if you accept that they may have had a typo (which would explain the "she she" and even the "could to" part), are you kidding when you say "an English speaking" as a noun?
I can't.
My interpretation of this?
"I'm racist and I don't like Hispanic people. Also I order in a manner that's so confusing that someone who makes their living by taking orders can't understand what I want."


There was not only a line at the drive thru to order, but also a line to receive your order! Even when you go inside there is a wait, even if there isn't a line.

...
We're a fast food restaurant.
Being busy is the only way we're still in business.
We're not even that busy most of the time.
And also we make your food as you order it so I apologize if your sandwich isn't immediate, but I think you probably want fresh food.
Also please stop complaining to us about having a line. It literally isn't our fault that other people also decided to get their coffee this morning.
My interpretation:
"I am an impatient person who probably didn't like standing in line in elementary school and also probably my parents gave me whatever I wanted when I was a little kid."


Make the coupon expiration dates longer.

IT ISN'T ACTUALLY UP TO US WHEN YOUR COUPONS EXPIRE. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, TALK TO COROPORATE. if YOU ACTUALLY GET TO TALK TO THEM, LET ME KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE SOME ISSUES WITH THEM TOO, THANKS.

"I'm a decent person but I don't actually understand how franchises work."


Take the customers order, take coupons at point of payment, and don't tell the customer they are the reason for any mistakes.

Maybe if you actually ordered properly and gave us your coupons when you pay, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. However, it isn't our job to ask you if you have a coupon. We aren't actually mind readers. Also, I'm glad you know how to do my job better than I do. It's clearly always my fault when something goes wrong; it's never the customer's fault.
Admittedly, no. We shouldn't actually patronize our customers and tell them they're the problem.
(Truth be told though, they usually are the problem.)
So try this, customer: How about you actually show some consideration for the fact that this employee has to talk to a hundred other people just like you and take orders that start sounding the same, and actually treat them like a person? How about you don't freak out if we make a mistake, because it's just as likely as you made a mistake with ordering?

Interpretation:
"I've never had a minimum wage job, I think I know better than you, also I'm way more important than anyone else in this entire building. Your job is clearly to be my servant."


To be honest, there were a couple more, but I can't remember them off the top of my head. I'll get some more of them later though, so never fear!

1 comment:

Cat said...

YOU'RE BACK!! Oh my goodness :D
This post was great and I can't say I really envy your job...x